The Night Mayors That Give Us Nightmares

Many places desire to have Night Mayors. The Night Mayor is an officially recognised person designated to bring alive a town's night economy. Buildings and roads should not sleep as people do. There is nothing derogatory about a function that serves the interests of people working the night shift. In their absence, we have this role fulfilled by the Day Mayor or simply the Mayor.

Our towns had Mayors in the old constitutional order but today, their functional equivalents are Governors, an office birthed by crossbreeding the old mayorial function and the district commissioner role. And ganished with a touch of the Provincial commissioner's powers.

The truth is since devolution went live in 2013, every county has received more money than at any other time in independent Kenya's history. Development is evident across the board but one thing sticks out like a sore thumb. Famine has never left us despite increased spending in all prone areas. Are famines stoked to make money for the boys like wars are created by Uncle Sam's operatives to gift arms supply contracts to the boys who funded their campaigns? Could someone be shipping in maize now? The Americans do it to outsiders far away from their borders. We do it inside Kenya.

Governors have the title His or Her Excellency but no excellent results follow the respect accorded them. They are quiet. When it matters the most, they are mute. They have left us to experience nightmares prompted by their focusing elsewhere.

Or is there something else that makes our Night Mayors timid? They bravely faced the electorate and promised to deliver for them their aspirations. If they don't say what the matter is, then we won't know.

And away from our Mayors, we have four types of people. They may help us unlock the problem. The clever fool, the brave fool, the smart coward and the timid genius.

The clever fool is the kind of person that is clever enough to discern the situation but foolish enough to rub salt into the injury. These are the people who love to hurt others. So in the case of the Night Mayors debacle, they will simply tell them off without providing any solution.

Next are the brave fools. In any society, they have a role to play. The brave part is their positive virtue. Usually, they have huge egos that need satisfaction. So, someone smart will in private make a comment and because it is from a smart person, the brave fool picks it and takes it public partly to sound smart but mostly to soothe their insatiable egos. The brave fool can pass for a smart guy for a long time but sudden moments call them out. If challenged on the spot to respond to a news story, the smarter of the brave fools will ask for time to consult before talking. The typical brave fool will only prove who they really are, a brave fool indeed.

We have the smart cowards. These are of above-average intelligence and will hardly get in trouble. They will often hide their cowardice by sounding knowledgable albeit within select groups of people. You will never see them quoted anywhere but you will have them in mind when you need to consult urgently. These types might actually tell you in detail what afflicts our Night Mayors.

Finally, we have the timid geniuses. These are the ones who set up the brave fools. No one knows of them or even who they are. But they work from the darkroom and slip out notes to the brave fools to broadcast the new trends.

So, if you want to know why the country is ravaged by drought nearly 60 years after independence, please await word from the personality type best suited to disclose the problem. The longer they shash, the more our nightmares persist. Enough said.