The Dynamics Of Trusted Enemies In Our Work Space

First, we have the type that doesn't hide their displeasure when in your presence or at the mention of your name. These ones have an early-warning mechanism and you can steer clear of their path or choose to confront them and solve the problem.

Second, we have the type that settle's at the irriduceable minimum possible affiliation point. For instance, you are temporarily close when you meet at a business cocktail perhaps because you attended the same school, but as soon as a clansman with a similar background shows up, you are treated as if you were all total strangers to one another. No matter how hard you try thereafter, you just won't fit in. This one, "unaachia Mungu tu".

Those are the first kind of enemies. They show it before it's dangerous or even fatal.

The third type conceal's their disdain for you. They are patient and will act out in friendly ways when around you. They mimic a pet snake. Every day you awake, the serpent is fully stretched out in the bed. And in a straight line for a good reason. It uses its body as a dependable tape measure.

With "friendly" tail sensing motions towards your feet and a legendary back and forth flicking and wagging of its two-pronged tongue towards your head, it transmits both your breath's scent and source to its Jackobson's organ to accurately size you up. And the day it has a clear body length advantage over you, without notice, you graduate from pet owner to prey as it attacks you for its next meal, its girth notwithstanding, as it is gifted with the elasticity needed to accommodate prey bigger than it in its guts. You invested emotions in your pet but it has no ability to reciprocate the gesture. You were a freindly fool to it all along, and both a self-warming and a self-paying KFC delivery at that. You were its project too.

For this type of friendly enemies, the truth emerges when it is too late to act. And sometimes, their miscalculations turn the tide against them and become the rope that is used to hung them mercilessly for they never showed compassion in the first place. And even hunging them has its consequences so think hard before acting.

In business, instincts are not enough to sniff out these dangerous types. Everyone must earn their trust and like an insurance cover, it must be renewed periodically. It is never a one-time premium payment.

If you find youself continously falling victim to wolves in sheepskin, do not despair. It calls for a time of reflection.

The catch is in how we handle our to-do lists. Oftentimes, we tick off what is completed and then quickly embark on new endeavours. We kill ourselves slowly when we adapt to a 'one-off project-based' mindset. We build the house and move on to build others without providing for continous maintenance mechanisms for what is done. This is exactly the reason why professional bodies now require members to earn Continous Development Program points periodically as eligibility for practice certificate renewals.

A degree earned in analogue settings from days gone by, when subjected to a real life situation today, may not measure up to the challenges that need present-time solutions that were evidently absent back then. Relationship assessments must always be breathing assessments as they always are ongoing exercises. A project-based mindset is a one-off experience affair while a quality-based mindset, is a continous process based type.

People are often discouraged from getting into habits that they cannot support. A man hanging about in restaurants for free drops and chops is avoided unless he adds value to patrons through unique social skills such as storytelling or consistently sharing commercially beneficial information.

My freind who is doing business in the Congo, tells me that shoe shine stalls in Kinshasa are in designated areas and being many and identical, one may be spoilt for choice. But they have an interesting tie breaker. They are a music mad country, so you choose your shiner based on whose acapella performance amongst them appeals to you the most. And they sing on as they attend to your shoes. Now, that is a value added service. These guys rehearse these songs daily to have that competitive edge.

The key word here, is 'continuously' and should apply to friendships and associations across the board. Remember that in your alert state you will see through characters and even if some slip through your guard, they won't do it for too long. Be slow in upgrading people from your watchlist and don't fear returning some there.

So make it a habit to keep inspecting all around you. And in turn, these habits become your trusted allies and they will protect you.